Relationship Coaching

RELATIONSHIP COACHING for all executives

Relationship coaching is for all executives. It’s about connecting with people In professional relationships of; employees, bosses, peers, clients, advisors, as well as in personal relationships, family, partners, friends, community, and others.

Good relationships and communications with others are based on good relationships and communications with yourself. This inside-out approach (as opposed to the traditional outside-in) is the secret to creating a better balance for people with a strong task orientation (strong intellectual capacity - IQ) and need to improve poor people, interpersonal, client or relationship behaviour (strong emotional intelligence – E/Q).

A common trait amongst ‘technical’ specialists (engineers, accountants, software designers, etc.) who are required to manage or lead others, interface with other people, or interact with clients. It is the key to greater influence, being more empathetic, managing others, being more extrovert were relevant, harmonising key relationships, dealing with difficult people and boosting morale.

Ideal panacea for those executives who want to improve, yet find it hard to get on with people, dislike small talk and consider networking (until now, that is!) irrelevant.

Case Study Example

Client: IT Director, £1.4B plc. Services Firm

Issue/s: To make ‘Interactions (exec and customer meetings) a more rewarding and positive experience’ +238% Improvement

Despite knowing precisely what behaviours he needed to change, (his boss, annual appraisal, 360 degree feedback, colleagues, etc.) Steve couldn’t change. In fact the harder he tried, the less progress he made? People describe Steve as ‘saying what he thinks’, with a tendency to be abrasive, even blunt when communicating with others. Is challenged to say no or that something cannot be done, without causing offence. He has a strong tendency to be pessimistic, easily irritated, and has some issues around authority. He is unable to make observations and judgements of what’s going on with people’s feelings? This work was directed at assisting Steve in resolving these issues in his new customer-orientated role, (to quote in his words) in, “Getting the right result without hacking people off!”

It was necessary to spend some time gaining clarity and articulating what he wanted (“Perform to my potential – getting better results from interactions with other people – people wanting me involved - people thinking they will get a better results if I am involved - interactions less bruising – will get the results we want.), as well as introducing some foundation change work and accelerated learning skills, needed for our later work. Specifically for Exec meetings – don’t want – late, rushed, not prepared, matter of fact, about making (ratifying?) decisions. Want – better preparation, feel more at home. For Customer meetings – don’t want – nervous/fear. Want – confident, positive, enjoy, look forward to meeting people.

We devoted some effort to developing people watching skills, by carefully and respectfully mimicking, other peoples physiology - walking, posture, gestures, etc., in different situations – stations, walking, meetings, etc. We also worked with some rapport techniques, reinforcing empathy states, convincer strategies, belief change, empowering language patterns, decision creating, muscle memory programming, removing unpleasant feelings, meanings and memories, spatial time coding adjustment and behavioural modelling.

A cornerstone of this work involved taking different perceptual positions (being in someone else’s shoes - 2nd position),) - a fundamental characteristic of genius. Steve has a strong natural/developed visual capability (eg “can see an engine in 3D”) and auditory (eg. detecting sound differences in the engine) – but being out of touch with peoples feeling, we worked on expanding and deepening his kinaesthetic (feelings) awareness, intelligence and sensitivity.

As part of this journey or expanded emotional intelligence we explored visualisation, modality distinctions, learning styles, emotional intensity distinctions when associated (looking through your own eyes) and when dissociated (looking at image of yourself). We also did some work around building self-confidence (doing – recognition for skills and expertise) and self-esteem (being – OK with yourself and who you are). Doing these things well had a dramatic impact on transforming Steve’s ability to get the results he wanted from important meetings.

Coaching time: 20 hours (5 sessions of 4 hours)

Results: Overall +238%.

Client self-rating on a scale of 0 to 10.

• Exec Meetings +250% (2 start to 6/8 end)
• Customer Meetings +225% (2 start to 6/7 end)

Please contact us directly for more details and information.